WHEW!!! Had to Interview the Evil One.

Sitka and Tia tagged me on this interview one! Whew... wow Bloggin' can tire an Ol' Man Butters out!

So last night I got to interview the foster mom, aka the evil one. I had to take a nap before I could transcribe it all out... But here is what I have to report back:

Butters (B): Good evenin' Evil one... I mean foster momma...
Evil One Paige (EOP): Good Evening to you Butter Man.

B: Can you please state your name for the record?
EOP: Why? Where are you planning on using this?

B: Ummm.. no where.. I just want to know.
EOP: Ok Butters.. I am Paige.

B: I have a few questions for you this evening... that I need answered. My first question is.. where do you go everyday when you and the foster dad lock me in that metal jail thing?
EOP: Well Butters, we have to go do stuff for other human folk who in turn give us money that we can use to get you food and other goodies. I work in a place called a Bank where they handle the money for other folks in something called the Credit Risk area. .

B: Hmmm.. but why lock me in the jail thing?
EOP: Well Butters, the short version or the long version of it?

B: The short version will do.
EOP: Well, while we are still getting to know and trust you we need to give you limits and set boundaries. Since when we aren't home we can't tell you what things you can and can't get into, the jail thing helps us do that.

B: So you don't trust me??? After all I put up with from you??
EOP: Butters, do I need to remind you about the trash can incident?

B: But that was just ONCE!
EOP: Could that be because we moved all trash cans up high?

B: Okay fine... let's move on Evil One, errr... I mean Foster momma. So speaking of food... why don't I get the really neat stuff that I see the other dogs getting? .
EOP: I don't know what you are talking about. You get Evo dog food daily, which you seem to love. You also get fish oil supplements for your coat, and you get raw eggs, yogurt or cottage cheese mixed in with your kibble every day.

B: Oh come on now.. You know what I am talking about!
EOP: OHH.. you mean the chickens, pork, deer and other stuff they get.. well Butters those dogs eat a RAW diet. You eat close to a raw diet. But since you are a foster dog and not everyone is keen on the RAW diet, we are sticking to kibble with you. EVO is as close as you can get to RAW in a kibble diet. .

B: Well that's @#$(&! I want RAW! It looks SOOO YUMMY!!! Nika, Rudi, Fugas and Pandora all look to be having soo much fun eating it. So why don't you just keep me?
EOP: Well Butters, we really would love to keep you. But we just can't afford it. We have the other four pups and it is expensive to own and care for dogs. On all of our dogs we have annual blood work done, that is how we were able to find out that Nika has masses on her liver and get that taken care of before it was too hard to help her. When we go off to work each day (you know when we put you in the jail), we only get so much money to take care of all of you and as dogs get older more things can happen and we want to be able to do whatever is needed for each dog to give them long happy lives. And we want the same for you! We want a home for you that can afford to do that for you without sacrificing the care of their existing dogs if they have any. So until then you are welcome to stay as long as you need.

B: Well, I GUESS that makes sense. How about getting more work? Wait never mind.. that means longer jail time. Okay, but can I put in a request to have a home that feeds me that RAWstuff?
EOP: Ok Butters, I will try.

B: Oh... and I want my new humans not to dress me up!
EOP: Aww Butters... you don't like helping out and dressing up? .

B: Uhh... NO!
EOP: So you don't want the treats I give you in return for dressing up and the photo shoots?

B: Well... I want the treats, just no dressing up.
EOP: Ok Butters.. I will work on that. But if I have to work for stuff, should you?

B: I'd say NO. I had a hard enough life. Ever hear of retirement lady?
EOP: Ok Butters.. good point. I will try.

B: So, speaking of foster dogs... exactly how many were there before me?
EOP: Well Butters, you are the 46th foster dog for us with Tails of the Tundra. I think.

B: You think??? What you can't count?
EOP: I really don't like to count.

B: Isn't that what you do during the day? Work at a place where they count?
EOP: I work where they count money, but I do other stuff which has more to do with reading and words and other computer stuff. I also do other stuff too when I am home.. paint, draw and do graphics stuff.

B: AH HA! So maybe if you did more of that other stuff you COULD afford me!
EOP: I do that other stuff so I can afford the four dogs! And I also enjoy it.. it is like a hobby too.

B: So what? I am not a good enough Hobby?
EOP: Oh come on now Butters.. I love you and you are more than a Hobby. That is why your foster parents have done Rescue for.. well for over 9 years now. We love all of you pups.

B: Okay.. fair enough... I GUESS... Evil O... err... foster momma. So when and where is this new home of mine? I'd like to start training... I mean getting to know them.
EOP: Patience Butters... they are out there. Until then just hang out with us.

B: Okay.. YAWWWNNN... if you insist.
EOP: You tired Butters?

B: Doesn't a yawn normally mean that? Of course I am tired! I am an Ol' man.
EOP: Okay Butters.. let's get to bed then.

B: Sounds good. Oh one more thing foster momma.
EOP: Yes Butters.

B: Can you PLEASE explain to Nika and Fugas that I really don't care about their toys, and they can stop yellin' at me!
EOP: I keep telling them that.. but they REALLY like those toys.

B Uh huh... YAWWWNNN... okay we can talk more about this tomorrow.
EOP: Okay Butters. Night.